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HO HO HO!
IT'S THE HARPMICMAN CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT!


SOLVE YOUR GIFT-GIVING PROBLEMS
–ONLY $19.99! YOU'LL BE THE TALK OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND THE ENVY OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS!

YOU GET AN HONEST-TO-GOD VINTAGE CRYSTAL MICROPHONE ELEMENT—
SURROUNDED BY FAKE HOLLY, FIR TRIM, AND A BIG RED BOW
!  IT'S A WORK OF YULETIDE ART!
COMES WITH ITS OWN INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH HOOK FOR EXTRA SECURITY ALL SEASON LONG!
YOU CAN'T LOSE!

HOLIDAY PEACE OF MIND FOR ONLY $19.99!
SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED SO ORDER NOW!

YES, PROUDLY HAND-CRAFTED IN THE U.S.A
BY A REAL AMERICAN!   ACCEPT NO FAKES, SUBSTITUTES, OR CHEAP INFERIOR KNOCK-OFFS MADE FROM TOXIC MATERIAL BY SLAVE LABOR!

ORDER NOW! NOW DAMMIT!